I went to the doctor today to have blood drawn. They wanted to check my progesterone and estrogen levels. My progesterone levels were normal but my estrogen was low. I was instructed to increase from one estrogen patch to three. I really don't know what that means. My fear is that my body is not creating the necessary hormones which could mean my little ones are gone.

I have cried all day at just the thought that they are gone. Jon and I can not afford another $15,000.00 to try this again nor do we have the money to adopt right away. So, if this doesn't work, I guess we will live childless. Just the thought makes me cry.

I tested again. Negative. What I would give to see a faint second line. I already have the feelings that the cycle didn't work.

How do you pick up the pieces? How do you continue to go to work and put a smile on your face?

I hope my feelings are wrong and I will get a pleasant surprise soon.